Brixton/Oval House

This place is listed as a “hotel” but in reality it’s more like a poorly converted shared house with six rooms, a shared kitchen, one toilet downstairs, one full bathroom, and one small shower room upstairs. I’m not even sure what to categorise this as, but I’m relieved we only stayed for one night. It was possibly the worst night I’ve ever spent in Brixton. The check-in process involves fiddly physical keys, which feels completely outdated. A digital lock system with access codes would be a major improvement, but that’s just one of many changes needed for this place to even deserve a single star. We were a group of five and booked three rooms: two doubles and one twin. The so-called “twin” was actually a single bed that pulls out into a double, meaning two fully grown men ended up sleeping practically on top of each other in the smallest, hottest room on the top floor. It was incredibly uncomfortable. While technically a photo of that bed setup is shown online, it’s extremely misleading to label it as a twin room. No one booking a twin expects a cramped pull-out in a box room. A clear disclaimer should be added because without it, this feels like blatant false advertising. To be fair, the mattresses weren’t bad, but the bedding situation was awful. One flat pillow per person and a duvet cover pretending to be a sheet. We flagged this, and a lady who seems to live on-site tried to help, but communication was difficult and nothing much came of it. What really concerned me was that I started itching badly as soon as I got into bed, which makes me suspect there might be bed bugs. Now onto the worst part: cleanliness. This place is a complete dump. While the bathrooms had basic surface cleaning, everything else was grimy, mouldy, and falling apart. Fixtures were loose, walls were stained with who knows what, and my mother felt so uncomfortable she didn’t want to touch her contact lenses in the bathroom. There’s a sign saying guests are expected to clean up after themselves, which became very clear because it looks like the actual cleaner does absolutely nothing. The overall condition of the property is unacceptable and it feels more like a neglected student house than paid accommodation. Noise was another huge issue. Supposedly there’s a quiet time after 9pm, but we were constantly woken up by doors slamming, people walking the stairs, and beds creaking loudly. The electrics were also concerning. I plugged in the shared hair dryer and it sparked with a small pop. I cautiously used it afterwards but it felt unsafe. The place feels like something someone bought just to turn a profit without putting any care into it. When we raised our concerns, including a request for an additional room, the owner eventually stopped responding. The misleading room descriptions and poor conditions only add to the sense that people are being ripped off. Unless serious improvements are made, this place should be avoided. While it may seem cheap at first glance, even for the price it’s charging, it still feels like a complete rip-off. It’s poorly maintained, borderline dangerous, and absolutely not worth the risk. There are better and safer options nearby in Brixton.